SpectreAction/Adventure, 2015
2 hours, 28 minutes
Written by John Logan, Neal Purvis, Robert Wade, Jez Butterworth
Directed by Sam Mendes
Rated PG-13 for "intense sequences of action and violence, some disturbing images sensuality and language"
Starring
Daniel Craig
Christoph Waltz
Ralph Finnes
Léa Seydoux
Dave Bautista
Ben Whishaw
Andrew Scott
Monica Bellucci
Naomie Harris
SPOILERS AHEAD - YOU'VE BEEN WARNED
Over the last couple of weeks, the one movie that seems to come up more than anything else is Spectre, the new James Bond film. Because I am becoming increasingly annoyed with the discussion, I'm going to write a damn review, since ya'll are basically asking for one.
The story is as follows: A bad guy does some stuff and Bond has to go and stop them... Okay, I don't totally remember the entire plot because there's two and a half hours of stuff going on. Basically, Bond is trying to learn what he can about an evil organization named Spectre. Back in London, a guy with the codename C is developing a global surveillance program that will halt the need for a "00" program, for whom Bond works for. Obviously the two are related.
Admittedly, I didn't hate Spectre. Hate is a strong word. Although I found several problems, I didn't shake my head in disgust as I watched, but I wasn't too impressed. Coming off of my favorite Bond film, Skyfall, I had my expectations pretty low. Unfortunately, there was enough wrong that pissed me right off.
The one thing I LOVED about the movie was Mr. Hinx, played by Dave Bautista of Guardians of the Galaxy fame. It's a great throwback to the silent, muscle-bound henchmen of the Connery and Moore days. His battles with Bond are exceptional and exciting, even if they defy the laws of physics. It's a damn shame he's killed halfway through the film, and as such is underutilized.
Hinx may have just been a pawn; the king is Franz Oberhauser, played by the immaculate Christoph Waltz, who is just as good as you would expect him to be. He is later revealed to actually be Blofeld, the most iconic villain in the history of James Bond. Bond fanatics had a hunch that this was happening, considering Blofeld was the head of Spectre in the old films. The surprise here was how poorly it was handled. Yes, he gets the scar on his face with the glassy eyeball and he's got the cat, but that's as far as it goes. Oberhauser is played up as someone from Bond's past who has organized everything in Craig's past movies: Casino Royale, Quantum of Solace and Skyfall. It's a cool idea and mostly works, considering Spectre is a huge villain organization... However, it lacks almost all of the impact it should have had. Remember when Bond villains wanted to blow up the moon or some other crazy shit? Whatever happened to that? I guess the Brosnan movies ruined the far-fetched plans like that since everyone wants a "serious" Bond movie now. Blofeld's intentions are to get the surveillance program in development by C, but that's all. Yes, the implications of that goal are horrific, but not enough to sustain the movie. Oh, and Blofeld doesn't know how to torture for shit. The scene is fairly painful to watch, but he gets back up after all of that shit and easily dispatches all of the bad guys around him and blows up the place like the last 10 minutes didn't happen. What a waste.
It wouldn't be a Bond movie without gorgeous women. There are two in this one: Monica Bellucci and Léa Seydoux. One is an older Italian bombshell while the other is a young and generically sexy French blonde. Unfortunately, Bellucci is barely in the movie and Seydoux is the actual love interest. This sucks because when Seydoux says something like, "I love you, James," my first thought is, "No you fucking don't." When that's the immediate response, that's a problem. And it's not like her saying it and he's against it, and their relationship is in trouble or some rom-com crap like that. The interaction isn't believable at all, yet it carries throughout the film.
Surprisingly, Bond's talented backup team plays a significant role in the film. Ralph Finnes, who plays the new M, has a weighty role (much like Judi Dench's M in Skyfall). Mendes definitely utilizes the supporting cast of good guys, and even if what they're doing is kind of lame, it's still immensely enjoyable watching him run around and doing action things.
For all of it's shortcomings, Spectre isn't the worst Bond movie out there. It's a fun homage to the Bond films of old and it's a decent sendoff for Craig if he chooses not to return. All four of his films are intimately interwoven, unlike most of the other movies. I was hopeful that the return of Sam Mendes would make for another great outing, but the directing is much less inspired than Skyfall. He seemed to show up, do the work and pick up his check. Most of the other people probably did the same. Oh well. At least the movie is watchable.
6/10
