Thursday, March 28, 2013

BIOSHOCK INFINITE - Video Game Review

I haven't seen any new movies lately so just to keep this blog running I'm going to review a video game this week. I don't play a lot of video games, but I usually play big release games, not the kind of games that release sequels on an annual basis, but games that win all kinds of E3 awards. So yeah. I'm doing this today.


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BioShock Infinite

First-Person Shooter
Irrational Games, 2013
Xbox 360, PlayStation 3, PC
No Multiplayer


BioShock Infinite is absolutely stunning in almost every single way. When I think about any potential drawbacks, there's really only one thing that I can think of. That tiny thing aside, the game is stunning, from its fine-tuned gameplay to its astounding achievement in storytelling.
The game opens like the original BioShock. You play as an ex-Pinkerton agent named Booker DeWitt, and you find yourself at a light house in the middle of the ocean, and that light house takes you to a city. Instead of Rapture this time around, you find yourself at Columbia, which is quite the opposite of Rapture. Not only is the city not in shambles, but it floats in the sky above the clouds as opposed to underneath the water. Keep in mind this is 1912, before the events of the original BioShock take place.
Your task is to find the mysterious Elizabeth and bring her back to New York. Once you find her, things go a bit awry as you'd expect. This is also where the game gets good.
The gameplay is fantastic and tight. For a single player only 12-14 hour FPS, just the amount guns is just staggering. You've got a standard pistol, machine gun, shotgun, carbine, rocket launcher, grenade launcher, and sniper rifle, and you can upgrade them using the various vending machines scattered around Columbia. What's more, you'll reach a point in the game in which you'll get a second set of some of these weapons. For example, you'll eventually come across the repeater, which is basically the machine gun with more power and a smaller clip. You'll get a single shot-over powered shotgun, so basically there's a second set of more powerful weapons. However, they feel like completely different weapons, which is pretty awesome. Unlike the other games in the series, you can only carry 2 weapons at once, which is actually okay. Everyone will find a weapon combination that suits them perfectly. What's more, the weapons, at least the bullet-based non-explosive weapons, feel like they have weight and power to them. If you're accurate, you can easily get a one-hit kill, even at long range with the revolver. The guns aren't overpowered, but they feel stable and strong in combat, which makes combat incredibly fun. Finding ammo for guns you don't have even adds up so when you do finally pick up a weapon that you have ammo for, you're already fully stocked. Your melee weapon this time around is the Sky-hook, which is just as cool as it sounds. This actually has a gameplay role outside of melee attacks, unlike your wrench or drill in the Rapture games. You can use the skyhook to traverse the rails that connect the pieces of the floating city. You can use them in most combat scenarios, which adds another layer of strategy. You also have Vigors.
Just like the other BioShock games, you have guns and powers at your disposal, only this time around they're called "Vigors" instead of Plasmids. They do essentially the same stuff. You can throw fire balls that act as deadly grenades, charge at opponents from long distances, and mind control enemies to help you temporarily. You can use the Vigors in a number of ways depending on how your play style is. If you want to run in and blow everything up, you can. If you want to be strategic and pick off enemies in a more controlled method, you can do that as well. It's fun to experiment with the Vigors and definitely worth your time to see what works. The harder the game gets, the more you'll want to have at your disposal, and you can upgrade the Vigors for additional damage and perks. You find Salts around the city. Salt is basically what the Vigors use up when you throw them, which is basically what EVE was to Plasmids back in the Rapture-based games.
In addition to all of this, you'll find gear throughout Columbia. You have four slots for various gears that basically act as perks. You might have an increased melee damage or set enemies on fire if they come into contact with you. They can be found all throughout the city. You also find Infusions, which basically allow you a one-time increase of either your shield, health, or Salts bars. You have to choose wisely, because these Infusions are not the easiest to find. And this is where my only complaint comes into play.
To fully experience the game, you have to look around the city. You have to explore places that you don't actually have to go into, like bars or shops. Of course you don't have to explore, but if you don't you might not find the Infusions, and if you don't find Infusions and upgrade your stats, then you will most certainly die in the later sections of the game. It's like you have to explore off the beaten path to get the full experience. It takes up a lot of time, and while you find what's called a Voxophone, which is basically a tape-recording from various characters that add to the story elements, it's not really required. It adds so much to the story its like they're forcing you to explore when all I want to do is to play the game as is without fretting if I missed a power up or recording. The other BioShock games are like this too. It's the only thing that really bothers me. But hell, the game is so fun that you quickly forget that you're trying so hard to explore the place. It's so full of character that it's probably worth exploring.
The best, and I mean the best part about Infinite is the story and characters. I already covered the gist before, but both Booker and Elizabeth are strong central characters that you quickly begin to sympathize with. You want to see this adventure through to the end, this isn't some Call of Duty story of shoe-horned plot devices and ridiculous characters. The tale of Booker and Elizabeth in the city of Columbia is one of power, corruption, rebellion, prejudice, courage, patriotism, science, consequences, and faith. These characters are believable, thanks to great voice acting and beautiful character animation for Elizabeth, whose facial expressions and body movements feel surprisingly natural for a video game character. She's a very strong and stable character, and she can fend for herself. This ain't no 12 hour escort mission like you might think. She has no health bar and doesn't get in the way. In fact, she even helps you. She disappears briefly in a section later on and I had difficulty fighting off baddies without her help. She hands you extra ammo, health, and Salts when you're low. She can even spawn cover and turrets in the heat of combat, which is something that actually comes into play with the story.
You shouldn't come into this game expecting to sit through the story, you should expect to experience them. And what an incredible story it is. The story doesn't end with the final fight, and as things are revealed to you, the ultimate finale will completely blow you away. And whatever you do, stick around for a post-credits scene.
BioShock Infinite isn't really a shooter. The game isn't about the action that it does so well, it's really about the incredible storytelling and characters.  You'll find constant surprises around every corner, but the story doesn't really kick into high gear until the second half of the game. When it gets good, it fucking gets good. There's no multiplayer, but I know that I'm going to take a second tour of Columbia sometime in the near future. It's just that damn amazing.

10/10


If you're asking which system to get it on, I think the PC. From what I've read, the PC version just has better graphics and whatever. The PS3 version of the game comes with a free copy of the original BioShock that you can download straight from the disc.



Monday, March 11, 2013

SUSHI GIRL - Review

Sushi Girl

1 hour, 38 minutes
Crime Thriller, 2012
Written by Destin Pfaff and Kern Saxton
Directed by Kern Saxton

Starring 
Mark Hamill
Tony Todd
Noah Hathaway
James Duval
Andy Mackenzie
Cortney Palm

"Remember you are a tray. You must not move. You must not make eye contact. You must not react. No matter what you see... or hear."

Right of the bat, I must clarify that Sushi Girl is NOT a porno or erotic thriller, because when I told someone that I was watching a movie called Sushi Girl I was asked if it was a porno.
It isn't, with the exception of some lovely female nudity.
Basically, Sushi Girl is Reservoir Dogs, but different. It takes place six years after a botched diamond heist, and the group is reunited at last to figure out where the fucking diamonds are. Because they say that a lot. They say shit like "where's the fucking money" and lots of other cliche 90s Tarantino ripoff movie-isms.
This is Sushi Girl's biggest problem. I can't tell if it's an homage to those talky crime flicks of the 90s or if it's just trying too hard to be one. And now you're probably asking what the difference is. Well, I'll tell you.
An homage in this sense is if the writers and director go out and say "We want to make a talky crime movie that looks and feels like that of the 90s, kind of like an homage to Tarantino."
Trying too hard to be one is if the writers and directors said "Oh man, it's takes place after a diamond heist and the characters torture this one guy because they want their cut of the money and shit goes insane!" Then it's just trying too hard to be one of those movies without distinguishing itself as trying to homage something.
I would like to think that Sushi Girl is the former, seeing as it plays out very similarly to Reservoir Dogs. There are a few twists that you can probably see coming, and the dialogue is pretty generic that of the 90s, then again, if it is an homage, then it definitely succeeds. There are a few things that are just brought up and tossed aside, but they actually have impact on the character's actions, so it would've been nice to actually know what the fuck was going on with what they were talking about.
The acting isn't that spectacular with the exception of the two leads, Tony Todd and Mark Hamill. Yeah, it's THAT Mark Hamill. Star Wars and the Joker. The famous Mark Hamill. He's in this movie, and he's actually very entertaining to watch. He's got ugly long blonde hair and glasses and a vest with a pink shirt. It's kind of scary how over the top his character is, but it's pretty fun to watch him embody his Joker from Batman: The Animated Series. Tony Todd plays the ringleader, and his performance is relatively strong compared to the rest of the cast, who just sound like cardboard and deliver bland performances.

Before I wrap up, there are a couple of things on the side that are worth mentioning:
  • The movie is called Sushi Girl because the movie takes place in a room in which on the dinner table there is one of those girls that lay naked on the table and you can eat sushi off of their naked bodies. She's just kind of there. 
  • The writers don't know how Russian Roulette works. 
  • Danny Trejo plays a guy named Schlomo. How awesome is that? He doesn't show up for long, but a huge Mexican guy named Schlomo is just hilarious. 
  • Sonny Chiba is in the movie, but he is highly underused. 
I'm going to assume that this movie is an homage, considering that it definitely plays like one. The set up isn't really original, but it mimics talky-crime movies so well that I just have to assume that it is, in fact, an homage. 
Despite the movie's shortcomings (dialogue, acting (with the exception of Mark Hamill), some story stuff) it is shockingly entertaining. The characters do some really crazy shit somehow, the movie is never boring. And for that, I have to give it a huge amount of credit, especially since it's trying to do something that's been done. 
It's just a really bloody entertaining movie. 

8/10


Saturday, March 09, 2013

STOKER - Review

Stoker

1 hour, 39 minutes
Thriller, 2013
Written by Wentworth Miller
Directed by Park Chan-wook

Starring
Mia Wasikowska
Matthew Goode
Nicole Kidman


"Sometimes you need to do something bad to stop you from doing something worse."


Stoker is the first english language film by acclaimed Korean director Park Chan-wook. If you've seen any of his other films like Oldboy or Sympathy for Lady Vengeance, then you'll recognize his style almost immediately. The movie has that very dark and mysterious vibe that doesn't really stop until the final frame, not just in the storytelling, but visually as well.
The movie is about a girl (Mia Wasikowska) whose father has just died in a car accident, and her mother (Nicole Kidman) and her mysterious never-before-mentioned-to-her Uncle Charlie (Matthew Goode) during the aftermath of the incident. The premise makes it seem like a typical indie "getting over the death of a loved one" type thing, but this is far from the truth. This movie is a psychological thriller to it's core, and the more we learn about this mysterious Uncle Charlie, the more intriguing the film becomes.
The dialogue isn't particularly strong, in fact, it's somewhat riddled with cliches. The story itself is quite strong, making twists and turns as thrillers often do. It's another movie where nothing is quite what it seems, and the story progresses quite nicely, but some might find the twists to be predictable.
Few directors have a certain style of acting that can be associated with them. Park Chan-wook's movies have characters that are usually mentally fucked up in one way or another, and this is something that the movie does well. The performances feel like they do in any other Park Chan-wook movie. Mia Wasikowska has that emotionally distant stare that has become commonplace in Chan-wooks works, and Matthew Goode is fantastic as the incredibly creepy uncle. While the performances aren't necessarily award worthy, they definitely feel as if they belong in a Park Chan-wook film, and succeed on that front.
The strongest aspect of the film, in my opinion, is the visuals. The movie is absolutely gorgeous, every scene is brilliantly shot. For a director who is known for visually brilliant films, this is probably his most stunning visual work yet, thanks to cinematographer Chung-hoon Chung, who has worked on most of Chan-wook's other films.
Overall, Stoker is another good addition to Chan-wooks filmography. It isn't for everyone, but if you're a fan of his other films, then you'll definitely enjoy this.

7.6/10

PS. I would be doing you, the reader, a disservice, if I didn't tell you to check out Park Chan-wook's films, many of them are on Netflix. I highly recommend The Vengeance Trilogy (Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance, Oldboy, and Sympathy for Lady Vengeance) and pretty much any of his other films. They don't need to be watched in order because the stories don't connect, but if you're looking for some great revenge flicks, then look no further.

Monday, March 04, 2013

THE CABIN IN THE WOODS - Review


SPOILERS AND SHIT ARE IN THIS REVIEW BUT IT'S BEEN OUT OF A WHILE SO MAYBE YOU'VE SEEN THIS I DON'T KNOW I WAS GOING TO REVIEW IT EARLIER BUT I HAVEN'T GOTTEN AROUND TO IT UNTIL TODAY SO YEAH SORRY THIS MOVIE IS A FEW MONTHS OLD N' STUFF. 


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The Cabin in the Woods 
1 hour 35 minutes
Comedy/Horror, 2012
Written by Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard
Directed by Drew Goddard


Starring

Chris Hemsworth
Kristen Connolly
Anna Hutchinson
Fran Kranz
Jesse Williams
Richard Jenkins

"Yes, you had "zombies," but this is "zombie redneck torture family." Entirely separate thing. It's like the difference between an elephant and an elephant seal."

...what?
I'm not a horror movie guy. I don't go to the movies to see people get tortured for fun because frankly, I just don't enjoy that kind of stuff.
Then there's Cabin in the Woods. I honestly don't know what to make of this. It's got to be one of the most unusual movies I've ever seen. It's like, 12 different genres at the same time. Parody, horror, comedy, action, a whole bunch of stuff.
The central premise is this: five friends go to a cabin in the woods for a weekend, but shit hits the fan and zombies come and etc etc etc. What makes this movie so unusual is that everything is being controlled from a booth by what appears to be a major corporation. Most of the humor comes from everything going exactly as you think it would in any horror movie. The popular girl does horny things, the jock does jock things, the stoner does the stoner things, it goes on and on.
But arguably the strongest part of the film comes from the office workers running this operation. The whole thing is totally insane, particularly when they bet on what monster is going to kill the campers.
The premise, script, and acting is strong all around. The finale is totally out of left field, but the best part of the entire thing is everything that happens right before the ending when the monsters jump out of their cells and massacre everybody. I'm not a huge fan of the final couple minutes, which kind of feels like something I've already seen before, but otherwise the whole thing leading up to that is totally insane.

TLDR: Somehow manages to be incredibly scary and incredibly funny at the same time, with a strong central premise that somehow manages to be completely original.

9.2/10





Saturday, March 02, 2013

TOTAL RECALL (2012) - Review

Total Recall (2012)

Sci-Fi/Action, 2012
1 hour 58 minutes
Written by Kurt Wimmer and Mark Bomback
Directed by Len Wiseman

Starring
Colin Farrell
Kate Beckinsale
Jessica Biel
Bryan Cranston


I know you're all thinking that this movie came out in early April, so why review it now? Because it's kind of recent and I was bored last night and I used a redbox code so I got to watch it for free and sometimes I like writing reviews on movies that I don't like.
The original Total Recall is pretty cool. It's a typical cheesy action flick that comes from that era of late 80s early 90s action flicks, but it was pretty good. So what does the remake bring to the table?
For one, it's a fucking gorgeous movie. The digital sets and computer effects are very pretty, especially the cityscapes which is something I want on the background of my computer. It's just that beautiful. The fight scenes are somewhat good, and the action, once it starts, doesn't really stop, which doesn't really hurt it.
Total Recall also has a pretty decent set up, and although they don't go to Mars unlike the original, it's set up actually helps with the more political oriented plot that the first one didn't have.
Unfortunately, everything else is pretty weak. The script is full of cliches, the characters are empty, and the performances are pretty static. With the exception of Colin Farrell and maybe Bryan Cranston, nobody is particularly strong in their acting. I'm not expecting any standouts in a modern day science fiction action remake, but they could've at least put a bit more effort into it. Especially Kate Beckinsale. She was just awful.
So aside from the insanely beautiful visuals, the script and characters are just so bland that it isn't really worth checking out. However, if you are in the mood for a cool modern day sci-fi action flick and you don't really care about the plot or anything, then you might get a kick out of this. What can I say, it's at least somewhat entertaining as a mindless action movie, and isn't entertainment value all that matters?
Okay, but it's still not a good movie.

5/10