SUSHI GIRL - Review

Sushi Girl

1 hour, 38 minutes
Crime Thriller, 2012
Written by Destin Pfaff and Kern Saxton
Directed by Kern Saxton

Starring 
Mark Hamill
Tony Todd
Noah Hathaway
James Duval
Andy Mackenzie
Cortney Palm

"Remember you are a tray. You must not move. You must not make eye contact. You must not react. No matter what you see... or hear."

Right of the bat, I must clarify that Sushi Girl is NOT a porno or erotic thriller, because when I told someone that I was watching a movie called Sushi Girl I was asked if it was a porno.
It isn't, with the exception of some lovely female nudity.
Basically, Sushi Girl is Reservoir Dogs, but different. It takes place six years after a botched diamond heist, and the group is reunited at last to figure out where the fucking diamonds are. Because they say that a lot. They say shit like "where's the fucking money" and lots of other cliche 90s Tarantino ripoff movie-isms.
This is Sushi Girl's biggest problem. I can't tell if it's an homage to those talky crime flicks of the 90s or if it's just trying too hard to be one. And now you're probably asking what the difference is. Well, I'll tell you.
An homage in this sense is if the writers and director go out and say "We want to make a talky crime movie that looks and feels like that of the 90s, kind of like an homage to Tarantino."
Trying too hard to be one is if the writers and directors said "Oh man, it's takes place after a diamond heist and the characters torture this one guy because they want their cut of the money and shit goes insane!" Then it's just trying too hard to be one of those movies without distinguishing itself as trying to homage something.
I would like to think that Sushi Girl is the former, seeing as it plays out very similarly to Reservoir Dogs. There are a few twists that you can probably see coming, and the dialogue is pretty generic that of the 90s, then again, if it is an homage, then it definitely succeeds. There are a few things that are just brought up and tossed aside, but they actually have impact on the character's actions, so it would've been nice to actually know what the fuck was going on with what they were talking about.
The acting isn't that spectacular with the exception of the two leads, Tony Todd and Mark Hamill. Yeah, it's THAT Mark Hamill. Star Wars and the Joker. The famous Mark Hamill. He's in this movie, and he's actually very entertaining to watch. He's got ugly long blonde hair and glasses and a vest with a pink shirt. It's kind of scary how over the top his character is, but it's pretty fun to watch him embody his Joker from Batman: The Animated Series. Tony Todd plays the ringleader, and his performance is relatively strong compared to the rest of the cast, who just sound like cardboard and deliver bland performances.

Before I wrap up, there are a couple of things on the side that are worth mentioning:

• The movie is called Sushi Girl because the movie takes place in a room in which on the dinner table there is one of those girls that lay naked on the table and you can eat sushi off of their naked bodies. She's just kind of there. 
• The writers don't know how Russian Roulette works. 
• Danny Trejo plays a guy named Schlomo. How awesome is that? He doesn't show up for long, but a huge Mexican guy named Schlomo is just hilarious. 
• Sonny Chiba is in the movie, but he is highly underused. 

I'm going to assume that this movie is an homage, considering that it definitely plays like one. The set up isn't really original, but it mimics talky-crime movies so well that I just have to assume that it is, in fact, an homage. 

Despite the movie's shortcomings (dialogue, acting (with the exception of Mark Hamill), some story stuff) it is shockingly entertaining. The characters do some really crazy shit somehow, the movie is never boring. And for that, I have to give it a huge amount of credit, especially since it's trying to do something that's been done. 

It's just a really bloody entertaining movie. 

8/10