'The Hobbit' proves just because you can, doesn't mean you should - REVIEW

The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies

Action Fantasy, 2014
2 hours, 24 minutes
Adapted and Directed by Peter Jackson
Based on The Hobbit by JRR Tolkien
Rated PG-13 for "extended scenes of intense fantasy action violence and frightening images"

Starring
Martin Freeman
Ian McKellen
Luke Evans
Richard Armitage
Evangeline Lily
Lee Pace
Orlando Bloom
Ken Scott
Aidan Turner


"You've won the Mountain. Is that not enough?"

SPOILERS AHEAD. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED. 

I'm gonna keep this one short and sweet.
I love the LOTR film trilogy. I love The Hobbit as a book and as a story. But I don't like it when Peter Jackson turns a children's story into a sprawling epic that tries so hard to be as wide in scope as the original films that put Jackson's name on the map. It's too messy and straight up does not work.

I don't know where to start. For one, the events set in motion by the first two films seem to just kinda END after the first 15 minutes, leaving the set up from the second film seem wasteful. A bunch of subplots wrap up quickly and then some new shit starts happening. It's kind of a weird transition, like the first 15 minutes of the film could have come at the end of the second one, but then, OH WAIT, THAT'S RIGHT, there would be no third movie. Welp, ya got another ticket out of us, Peter. Hope you're happy.

The writing is LAUGHABLY awful. Like, the kind of awful in which I literally laughed out loud. Some bullshit romance subplot (which doesn't exist in the book) with a dwarf and an elf (the elf in question doesn't even exist in the fucking book) and then Legolas (also NOT IN THE FUCKING BOOK) says something hilarious about his father does not control his heart or whatever the fuck. Then, at the end of the film, the girl says some bullshit like, "If this is what love feels like, I don't want it!" And that's AFTER her dwarf boyfriend dies. Because they just had to kill off two of the most characterized dwarves in the film (because that TOTALLY happens in the book... okay, Thorin dies, but I don't think the other one does. It's been a while since I've read the books...). The whole movie is full of awfully generic dialogue to the point where I am stunned that this is even a thing. Not all bad dialogue is noticeable. In this case, it is to a fault.

The visual effects are all over the place. The movie looks fine from a distance. Literally. Sweeping pans of the vast Middle Earth landscapes look phenomenal, as they did in the original trilogy. But close up? Not so much. Everything is bogged down by CGI that is far too heavy for its own good. As a result, it looks like a typical blockbuster. There's even a moment when Legolas does something so fucking ridiculous and the CGI looks so bad that the audience laughed. Hell, that happened quite a bit, come to think of it.

I could go on, but I'll put it like this: if your film looks more fake than something that came out over 10 years ago, you have a problem. Especially with such a monstrous budget.

So what's good about the movie? Not much. The performances are pretty good, Martin Freeman in particular. Ian McKellen is obviously amazing as he has ever been as Gandalf, and Luke Evans is great as Bard the Bowman. The rest of the dwarves are fine. Everyone else is... just fine...

I really can't recommend this movie. It's not good, guys. It's just two and a half hours of non-stop fantasy action that is disgraceful to Tolkien's book. I wanted to enjoy it, but this is really just generic Hollywood fanfare at it's finest.

5/10

INHERENT VICE - Review

It sure feels good to be home. My semester is all wrapped up, which includes the conclusion of my first full semester as the film critic for The Columbia Chronicle.

It's been ages since I've written a review here. My last one was for Guardians of the Galaxy, which came out all the way back in early August. That was my #2 most anticipated movie of the year, so I'm happy to return to the blog to talk about my #1 most anticipated movie of the year, Paul Thomas Anderson's Inherent Vice. 

I certainly hope you enjoy my back-to-basics approach of first-person writing and the lack of proofreading. Because it's a casual blog and I have other things to do, you know?

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Inherent Vice

Crime/Mystery/Comedy, 2014
2 hours, 28 minutes
Written and Directed by Paul Thomas Anderson
Adapted from the novel Inherent Vice by Thomas Pynchon
Rated R for "drug use throughout, sexual content, graphic nudity, language and some violence"

Starring
Joaquin Phoenix
Josh Brolin
Katherine Waterson
Owen Wilson
Reese Witherspoon
Hong Chau
Benicio del Toro
Martin Short


"I need your help, Doc."



Hazy.

That's the one word I can use to accurately sum up Paul Thomas Anderson's latest film Inherent Vice. It is one hazy-ass movie. You're probably wondering what exactly about the movie is hazy. Quite frankly, it's... it's everything. The characters, visual style, plot, you name it and it has got the word haze written all over it. But that's not necessarily a bad thing. If anything, it makes the movie all the more special. I can safely say that Inherent Vice is another excellent addition to Paul Thomas Anderson's filmography. This is his seventh film, and thankfully, he's still going strong.

Things kick off when private eye Doc Sportello (Joaquin Phoenix) is visited by his ex girlfriend Shasta (Katherine Waterson), who needs help after the disappearance of her wealthy boyfriend, Mickey Wolfmann (Eric Roberts). Reluctant at first, Doc accepts the case and finds himself facing more than he bargained for in the form of an international drug syndicate called The Golden Fang. From there, Doc squares off against Nazis, the FBI, lawyers, dentists, dopers, baseball bats, PCP, and spontaneous cunnilingus.

Inherent Vice brings back the neo-noir in such a way that has not been seen since The Big Lebowski. Yet instead of being a comedy with crime elements, Inherent Vice lays on the mystery pretty thick and keeps the laughs reserved. That doesn't mean it's hilarious, just that the humor takes a back seat. This can be a double-edged sword. Many scenes drag on for more than a few minutes in which Doc just asks a lot of questions and gets a lot of answers.

What makes the film so funny is the diverse cast of characters. Everyone has a distinctive personality and Joaquin Phoenix plays well off of the other cast members, Josh Brolin in particular. The back-and-forth between nearly everyone is stellar as well, thanks to Anderson's sharp writing. And, much like in the case of The Dude, much of the film's humor is at the expense of the drug-fueled central character.

Amidst the high profile leading cast, it is the supporting members that make the film shine. Newcomer Katherine Waterson, who plays Doc's ex-girlfriend Shasta, is easily one of the highlights. Although she only appears in three key scenes (two of which happen to be rather lengthy), Shasta is one of the most memorable characters. She's a modern day femme fatale, and hopefully Waterson will become an Anderson regular as well as receive an Oscar nomination for the part.

As great as Waterson and the rest of the supporting cast are, a majority of them are underused. Martin Short makes a highly memorable appearance, but only for a single scene. It's a shame to waste such a talented cast, especially when many of the actors have received top billing. At least the supporting players have noteworthy roles that enhance the pacing, story, and Phoenix's performance.

The crime and mystery itself is just as intricate as one would expect from a Los Angeles based noir. It all begins with Mickey Wolfman and then the disappearance of Shasta. Doc's interest in the case grows as he is repeatedly led back to it by other parties. Early on, Shasta recommends Doc to a friend of her's. The woman's case seems rather ordinary, but it is quickly revealed that her case is connected to the Wolfman disappearance. Each and every case intertwines with the central mystery, which makes every scene feel necessary. However, because of its impressive size, some of the threads get lost in the clutter. Repeat viewings ought to help fix the problem.

The evolution in Paul Thomas Anderson's work is been fascinating. His early work consisted of films like Boogie Nights, and Magnolia, which contained fast paced filmmaking with huge ensemble casts. Things slowed a bit with Punch-Drunk Love and then considerably with his highly acclaimed There Will Be Blood, the latter of which was a considerable change in pace for the director. He kept that slow and more focused momentum going with The Master, and now we have arrived at Inherent Vice. It is a wonderful culmination of the new and old Anderson. The slower and centralized plot is bolstered by a strong, supporting ensemble cast. It is Anderson returning to his roots while staying true to his new form, and longtime fans of his work will be sure to appreciate its value. It acts a companion piece to both Boogie Nights and The Master in vastly different ways, one for the storytelling and the other for style.

In a world full of disappointments, Paul Thomas Anderson has not let me down yet. I'm so thrilled that Inherent Vice turned out to be another amazing addition to his filmography. It's definitely worth seeing more than once to get the full scope of the mystery, as some of the details may get lost in the rather large mix. It's a shame is that the supporting cast is not used as effectively as they could have been, even if the characters and dialogue are strong. It may rank somewhere in the middle of his work, but even that is good considering all of his movies are fucking amazeballs.

9.4/10

WHERE HAVE I BEEN‽

See that up there in the title? You know, that exclamation question mark lookin' thing? That's an interrobang. EDUCATE YOURSELF.

Hey there, all you lovely people! How are you? If you answered, "I'm doing good," you should be saying, "I'm doing well," because grammar saves lives.

So as some of you may know, I was hired as the film critic for The Columbia Chronicle. You can imagine how busy I must be with that and school, but at least I am enjoying it. And you can read my reviews in the Arts & Culture section of the paper. If you're looking online, just browse the site for a bit and you'll find them. It seem as though it's in a different spot every week... Check those out EVERY MONDAY!!!

The only drawback is that I don't have time to write on here anymore. Which is a shame, because I do enjoy posting to this poorly named blog (if anyone has any better names, shoot them my way. I'll give you five bucks if it's good).

I just want to let you all know that I am looking forward to getting back to the blog over winter break. There are TONS of amazing movies coming out in the next few months, and once this semester with the paper is over, I will be writing and posting right here, as always.

Okay, what else... It think that's it...?

Yeah. That's it.

If you're still reading this, I assume that you're one of my regular readers, which I know are few in number. But you are the reason that I do this! Go you! You should be proud of yourself! I mean it. Be proud, Goddammit! And tell me if you are a regular reader, because I want to give you hugs.

GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY - Review

Guardians of the Galaxy

Comic Book/Action Adventure/Science Fiction/Comedy, 2014
2 hours, 1 minute
Written by James Gunn and Nicole Perlman
Based on the comic book series "Guardians of the Galaxy" by Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning
Directed by James Gunn
Rated PG-13 for "intense sequences of sci-fi violence and action and for some language"

Starring
Chris Pratt
Zoe Saldana
Dave Batista
Vin Diesel
Bradley Cooper
Lee Pace
Michael Rooker
Karen Gillan
Benicio Del Toro
Sean Gunn
John C. Reilly
Glenn Close

"I am Groot!"

For the past several years, Marvel has cashed in on their sizable cast of A-list comic book characters. Iron Man has already received the trilogy treatment with Captain America and Thor in the process of getting theirs. These characters are, and have always been, significant in the Marvel comic universe. So it came as a bit of a surprise when Marvel announced they were turning to the B-list to expand their universe. "Guardians of the Galaxy" is the first time that Marvel has taken a big risk in their cinematic universe. The heroes are virtually unknown to those outside the comic book fandom. Thankfully, "Guardians" is a stellar addition to Marvel's Cinematic Universe as well as a great standalone science fiction epic.

The film begins with Peter Quill (Chris Pratt of "Parks and Recreation" fame) uncovering an ancient artifact among ruins of a destroyed planet. However, the artifact is highly sought after by a few dangerous parties. Ronan the Accuser (Lee Pace), a powerful enemy who wishes to use the artifact to destroy planets, sends assassin Gamora (Zoe Saldana) to recover it from Quill... anyway, a bunch of stuff happens at this point, I don't want to go into every single detail. Basically, Quill and Gamora end up in prison along with a genetically modified, wise-cracking raccoon named Rocket (voiced by Bradley Cooper) and a humanoid tree named Groot (motion captured and voiced by Vin Diesel). Once in jail, they meet Drax (Dave Batista), a powerful warrior with a vendetta against Ronan for murdering his family. While Quill, Gamora, Rocket and Groot want huge sums of money for the artifact, Drax only wants revenge. The five work together as a team to escape and sell the artifact, but once the artifact's true power is discovered and Ronan's plan is revealed, the five decide to destroy Ronan and save the galaxy from certain doom.

Marvel films are known for their off-brand humor, and "Guardians" is certainly no exception. It's as much a comedy as it is a science fiction film with humor that will entertain both young and old audiences. The humor stems from the brilliant character work from the entire main cast. Peter Quill, AKA Star Lord, is basically a more intelligent version of Andy Dwyer from "Parks and Recreation." He's got great taste in music, and while he may be a bit of a bastard at first, he is instantly relatable and sympathetic. He always knows exactly when to say and when to say it, and although he might not be as proficient in combat as his companions, he rises to the occasion and becomes more than just a leader. Drax, the one character that nobody expected to be funny, actually manages to steal a few great moments. The only reason Drax is so funny is because his people do not understand sarcasm or metaphor, only the literal. You can imagine what happens with someone as sarcastic as Rocket on their team. Speaking of Rocket, he and Groot work like a modern day Han Solo and Chewbacca. Rocket is a weapons expert who isn't afraid to say what's on his mind, regardless of the repercussions. He just doesn't give a fuck. As great as Rocket might be, he's nothing without his pal Groot. Groot, who can literally only say the words "I am Groot" in that order, is equal parts vicious warrior and sweetheart. He'll ruthlessly kill a bunch of bad guys while wailing a battle cry, then turn around and give you a warm smile. If there's any scene stealer in the film, it's Groot.

And then there's Gamora... Gamora isn't exactly a bad character, but she suffers from what pretty much every Marvel movie suffers from: an uninteresting female protagonist. Okay, maybe uninteresting isn't the best word, but in comparison to the rest of the four, what does she have? She's a vicious warrior assassin with green skin. There isn't much to set her apart from the rest of the team. That's not to say she doesn't have good moments, but by the time you walk out of the theater, you'll only be talking about everyone else EXCEPT Gamora. Which is a shame, because in a film with a diverse cast of characters, she's easily the blandest.

Every character has their moment to shine. The first hour or so focuses mostly on what makes the central characters relatable. We learn about Drax, Quill, and Gamora's past. We also learn about Rocket's horrifying past of being nothing more than a lab rat before he escaped. The film focuses on what each of them has lost, but by the end of the film, they have become good friends. Because, you know, it's a somewhat predictable Hollywood blockbuster. It has to have a happy ending that sets up for a sequel. Yet it still manages to keep you on your toes.

And because it's a Hollywood blockbuster, you know the visuals are going to kick ass. And they do. It's a beautiful film with gorgeous cityscapes and colorful nebulas. Even Rocket and Groot look pretty good for CGI characters.

Overall, "Guardians of the Galaxy" is a badass movie with the charms of a Marvel movie and a standalone science fiction epic. I can't remember the last time I had such a great time watching a Marvel film. Probably not since "The Avengers." But it might even be better than "The Avengers!" Considering this does fit within Marvel's canon of comic book films, I would definitely put it right up there at the top above the first "Iron Man" and "Captain America: The Winter Soldier." So yeah, it might be better than "The Avengers," and everybody loves "The Avengers."

You don't need to have seen the other films to appreciate just how much fun "Guardians" is. Sci-fi fans and comic book nerds will go ape-shit over it. This was my #2 most anticipated movie of the year, and it was TOTALLY worth the wait.

9.7/10

BOYHOOD - Review

Boyhood

Drama, 2014
2 hours, 46 minutes
Written and Directed by Richard Linklater
Rated R for "language including sexual references and for teen drug and alcohol use"

Starring
Ellar Coltrane
Ethan Hawke
Patricia Arquette
Lorelei Linklater

"Life doesn't give you bumpers."

We go to the movies to escape from our lives. For just a few bucks and a couple of hours, we can immerse ourselves in fantastical and fictional worlds that have the ability to provoke certain emotion. We forget about our problems. We stop caring about our real problems and start thinking about the fictional ones on screen.

Films surrounding adolescence usually focus on a brief moment in the main character’s life. The story might revolve around a divorce, the loss of a loved one, or some sort of traumatic event. Films like these attempt to make a bold statement on the human condition. Some of these films might be close, but Boyhood is the only film to nail it right on the head. And it hits hard.

Boyhood follows the story of Mason (Ellar Coltrane), a young and ordinary kid. Mason has a younger sister, Samantha (Lorelei Linklater), a struggling Mom (Patricia Arquette) and an absent Dad (Ethan Hawke). The film doesn't have an exact story. It's just about growing up. Mason begins the film as a young boy and by the time the credits roll, he's a young man in college. He experiences happiness, fear, love, loss, failure, and success. The film is built of smaller stories that serve the theme of the film. Significant moments such as escaping a drunken step-father's home are juxtaposed with going to church on a Sunday morning, but every moment serves a purpose.

Boyhood is a grand experiment in filmmaking that pays off in an incredible way. The film was shot over the course of twelve years with the same cast. It may be an incredible experiment, Boyhood does something on an emotional level that most movies don't. It forces us to examine our own lives and how we move through different stages of being. Unlike most movies, Boyhood is about real people with real problems. It rarely feels staged. The film has a natural progression between the years. Soon enough, the inquisitive six-year-old is now a well-spoken adult.

Boyhood represents life at its core. If you're expecting an answer to the meaning of life, you won't find it here. The movie does not exist to teach us the meaning of life. It teaches how to appreciate it. We travel through life thinking we live in stages, yet we fail to appreciate the nuanced moments that define who we truly are. Yes, there are huge tent-pole moments that shape us, but it's the little things that we overlook that have huge impacts in our lives.

Boyhood is about life. It is sad, funny, awkward, and uplifting. It will cause many to examine their own lives and how the small things in life shape us, the small things that matter the most. Everyone will find something relatable in Mason and his family. This film is a masterpiece and will go down in history as one of the greats. It is the Casablanca or The Godfather of our time.

Boyhood is, perhaps, the definitive expression of what it means to be a human being. This movie is just, well... life. And that's all it needs to be.

10/10

The Best of 2014 (So Far)

We're over halfway through the year, so I think now is a good enough time to come up with a top 10 list for the first half of the year... however, I'm a somewhat lazy fucker, so I only wrote stuff for the top five. Even though that's how I usually do this, so... this is awkward.

I'm going to keep this relatively brief, so let's get to it.

#10: X-Men: Days of Future Past
#9: Neighbors
#8: Edge of Tomorrow
#7: Godzilla
#6: The Grand Budapest Hotel

#5: Chef
Although Chef isn't quite the highest rated of all the films I've seen thus far, it's still high up in terms of pure entertainment. Yeah, the story could've used a bit of worked, but Chef is one of the few films in which I could easily say, "I want to watch this non-stop for hours." The characters are instantly likable and the food looks so good.

#4: Captain America: The Winter Soldier
I didn't like the first Captain America film, so thankfully, this one made up for it. The story led the entire Marvel Cinematic Universe to a completely new place that is sure to change things up in the future. The film also plays out somewhat like a political thriller, full of twists and turns, which is a rare quality for any superhero film. It also has Robert Redford as a bad guy, so, you know... kinda has to be good.

#3 How to Train Your Dragon 2
Dreamworks shocked everyone with the first How to Train Your Dragon film. I think this is partially because Dreamworks had a shitty streak for a while. Thankfully, How to Train Your Dragon 2 is just as exciting and entertaining as the first, which I did not see coming. The animation itself is gorgeous, the character development is strong, and it does a great job of building the world around the main village of Berk. It's one not to be missed.

#2 The Lego Movie
I did not expect to enjoy this movie. At all. I went into it with the mentality of "this is just 100 minutes of product placement" which, I suppose, isn't incorrect... but there's so much more to the film than I was expecting. The voice cast is excellent and the animation is first class. It should also be noted that the film has a surprisingly sweet and positive message for younger AND older viewers. Definitely an Oscar contender for this year.

#1: The Raid 2
The third sequel on the top 5, The Raid 2 was a massive expansion of 2011's The Raid: Redemption. Jumping off immediately from the first film, The Raid 2 is a combination of hardboiled gangster film and even harder-boiled martial arts action. Everything about the production is top notch. At no point does the story drag -- if anything, it feels a wee bit short at two and a half hours. But that might just be because I just wanted more. Thankfully, a third (and most likely, final) Raid film is in the works.

That was pretty short, right? Whew. Now go back to whatever you were doing, and props to you if you actually read the descriptions that I worked so very hard on! You readers are pretty swell. Here's a prize that I am sure only a small few of you people will appreciate.

JERSEY BOYS - Review

Jersey Boys

Musical Biopic, 2014
2 hours, 14 minutes
Screenplay by Marshall Brickman and Rick Elice
Based on the Broadway Musical "Jersey Boys"
Directed by Clint Eastwood
Rated R for "language throughout"

Starring
John Lloyd Young
Erich Bergen
Michael Lomenda
Vincent Piazza
Christopher Walken

"Funny how?"

When I think of Clint Eastwood, I think of Harry Callahan. William Munny. The Man With No fuckin' Name. But he's had a good run as a director... well, maybe not recently. He doesn't have much of an outstanding directorial style. He was just a good filmmaker. As of late, he's had a bit of a dry spell with his films. Not since 2008's Gran Torino has he received many good reviews. Unfortunately, Jersey Boys, which chronicles the rise and fall of Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons, is just straight up a bad movie and a sadly lazy piece of filmmaking.

The strength of the film lies in its acting and soundtrack. That's about it. The performances are as good as they can be, while the music is just as good as the actual records from back in the day. John Lloyd Young, who reprises his Tony winning role as Frankie Valli from the Broadway show, is easily the best part of the entire production. What else about this movie is good? Not so much...

Jersey Boys' flaws stem from poor filmmaking. Right from the opening scene, I felt completely uninterested, which is rare for just about any movie ever. Every film, even the bad ones, has something going on to get the film rolling from the get-go. Jersey Boys had me bored from the very start. I didn't feel captivated or interested by anything.

Things don't get much better from there. The only interesting aspect of the story is anything in regards to the music. The music is great. Hell, the music is easily the single best part about the film. It's an amazing soundtrack! But it isn't enough to save the story, which fails due to a few uninteresting subplots that don't seem to go anywhere or add to the story. Not just that, but there are a few glaring structural issues as well. The progression of time is barely present. The best example of this is the subplot with Frankie's family. In an early scene, a very young Frankie takes a girl out on a date. Their relationship from the first date isn't believable, and it cuts from said first date to their wedding. Next time we see the wife, 20 minutes later, they've got a young daughter. Then Frankie has a discussion with the same daughter (who is suddenly older, about 10 or so). Then in the final act, his daughter is a young woman who gets into trouble and has a heart to heart with Frankie. We don't feel anything for the girl because we don't know her. It's frustrating to see this relationship blossom out of nowhere, and then we're expected to have sympathy for these characters once something happens to them. In addition to the shitty subplot, it's difficult to see the progression of fame and wealth that the Four Seasons attain throughout the years. Most films cover the rise and fall, but in this case it's just about the music. Then it becomes about the money. But then the money was never a big deal before... so where is this stuff coming from? The film is driven by a messy narrative that doesn't actually need to be so messy.

When I said above that the problems stem from poor filmmaking, that includes a couple of other elements in the process of making the film. For one, Jersey Boys is an adaptation of a musical. Sure, musicals might move the action along a little quicker and in a different style than a film, but you have to take that into account when doing the actual adaptation. Secondly, the film ignores any sort of rules set by musical biopics from the past. YES, I am saying that this film does not fall into any sort of cliched plot because it simply cuts these elements short. The family subplot is in every musical biopic but in Jersey Boys, it's obvious that a few scenes were left on the cutting room floor, giving us only a weak outline of what's actually going on. Stuff that should be there simply is not, and that is not acceptable for this type of movie. Maybe Eastwood wanted something different, but in this case, it doesn't work. He tried to break the rules and he failed.

The only positive experience I got from Jersey Boys is a new appreciation for Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons. Performances are strong and the soundtrack is great. The writing, pacing, and overall plot? Underwhelming at best. There are a few moments that could have been more memorable. The introduction of the song "Sherry" was snooze-worthy when it could have been a standout moment. But no. Strong performances and a great soundtrack do not fix a fractured and boring narrative. If you're a die hard fan of the band, it's worth your time. Otherwise, sticking to the Broadway show might be your best bet.

5/10 

Sequel Double Feature - 22 JUMP STREET and HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON 2

I would like to take a moment to apologize. I have been lazy. I started both of these movies a couple weeks back after I first saw them. To admit I have been busy is somewhat of a lie. I have been busy, but I have also had time to write these two reviews for movies I have looked forward too. I eventually decided to sit down and bang them out.

What I truly apologize for is the quality of the writing itself. I am very critical of my own work, and I feel as though perhaps I have royally screwed the pooch with this double feature. I just needed to get this stuff off my to-do list. Hell, the first paragraph of each review is identical -- then again, it fits with both, I suppose.

So, without further ado, please enjoy a couple of late reviews that are somewhat sloppily written. I'll do better next time -- I swear it.

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22 Jump Street


Action/Comedy - 2014
1 hour, 52 minutes
Written by Michael Bacall, Oren Uziel, and Rodney Rothman
Directed by Phil Lord & Christopher Miller
Rated R for "language throughout, sexual content, drug material, brief nudity and some violence"

Starring
Jonah Hill
Channing Tatum
Ice Cube
Amber Stevens
Jillian Bell
Peter Stormare
Wyatt Russell

"It's Vietnamese Jesus now, you racist motherfucker."

Movie sequels are a dime-a-dozen in today's Hollywood market. If a movie does remotely well, studio executives will find a way to turn it into a franchise. Although many sequels can make it rain at the box office, the actual quality of the film may vary (I'm looking at you, Hangover sequels). Yet it is movies like The Hangover series or Transformers that give sequels a bad name. Just remember that sequels gave us The Dark Knight, The Empire Strikes Back, and more recently, The Raid 2 (which is currently #1 on my movies of 2014 list).

Thankfully, 22 Jump Street mostly lives up to the hype. The original 21 Jump Street, which is based off the hit 80s TV show starring a young Johnny Depp, was a surprise critical and financial success. It just makes sense for a sequel, right?

Usually I take a whole paragraph to give plot background, but in this case I only need a couple of sentences. Schmidt and Jenko (Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum, respectively) go back undercover to find drugs at a college instead of a high school and shenanigans ensue.

That's basically the long and short of it. Other than a few solid twists, the story is exactly what one should expect from watching the trailer. However, the story itself isn't all that compelling. If anything, the side-plots are more interesting than the main plot, which starts to drag in the second half. The movie does make fun of itself for being a sequel. Hell, you can even see a bunch of that material in the trailer. Although the humor pokes fun at typical sequel tropes that one would expect from the film, that doesn't necessarily mean that it's acceptable to actually do it in their own film. The results are a mixed bag because it does effect the story.

But what the movie does excel at is humor. And it's really, REALLY funny. It might be funnier than the first. I don't want to ruin any of the jokes, but just trust me when it say that the film's strongest asset is its humor. Good sign for a comedy.

22 Jump Street isn't quite as good as the first film, mostly due to the lack of a strong story and some repeat gags. However, the humor does shatter almost every expectation set by the first film.

7.8/10


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How to Train Your Dragon 2

Animated Action/Fantasy - 2014
1 hour, 42 minutes
Written and Directed by Dean DeBlois
Rated PG for "adventure action and some mild rude humor"

Starring
Jay Baruchel
Cate Blanchett
Gerard Butler
Craig Ferguson
Kit Harrington
Djimon Hounsou
America Ferrara

"A man who kills without reason cannot be reasoned with."

Movie sequels are a dime-a-dozen in today's Hollywood market. If a movie does remotely well, studio executives will find a way to turn it into a franchise. Although many sequels can make it rain at the box office, the actual quality of the film may vary (I'm looking at you, Hangover sequels). Yet it is movies like The Hangover series or Transformers that give sequels a bad name. Just remember that sequels gave us The Dark Knight, The Empire Strikes Back, and more recently, The Raid 2 (which is currently #1 on my movies of 2014 list).

I was shocked at how much I enjoyed How to Train Your Dragon, considering that I'm not a huge fan of Dreamworks animated films. The first film was as imaginative as any film developed by Pixar. And it would have won an Oscar if not for Toy Story 3 being released that same year.

The long awaited (and someone unexpected) sequel, How to Train Your Dragon 2, picks up five years after the events of the first film. Vikings and dragons live together in blissful harmony. Hiccup (voiced by Jay Baruchel) and Toothless, his dragon, are still best friends. One day, Hiccup and Toothless meet a dangerous dragon trapper named Eret (voiced by Game of Thrones' Kit Harrington aka Jon Snow (who knows nothing)) who reveals that a dangerous man named Drago Bludvist (Djimon Hounsou) is building a vast and powerful dragon army. Hiccup, Toothless and their friends set out to defeat the dangerous dragon hunter before their village is burned to the ground.

It's difficult to go into what is wrong with the movie simply because its strengths grossly outweigh the issues. The only glaring problem, to me, anyway, is that the villain's motive is just not as strong as it could have been. It's a little typical for this kind of movie. Oh, and the relationship between Hiccup and his girlfriend Astrid (voiced by America Ferrara) sometimes feels a little unnatural at times. They are apart for a majority of the film, but when they are together, it just doesn't feel quite right. Yes, they are both strong characters in their own right and they make sense as a couple, but it could be that they just don't have enough screen time together to make the relationship stronger.

Now with that out of the way, let's get to the good stuff. Which is basically everything else. The voice work is exceptional. THE Roger Deakins, one of the greatest cinematographers of all time, worked on the project as a visual consultant, and it shows. The cinematography is absolutely fucking GORGEOUS. The animation itself is staggering in its meticulous detail. The story, despite my lackluster explanation above, is really impressive for an animated film. There are tons of awesome twists and turns. Hiccup's character development is far deeper and more impressive than that of the first film -- which was pretty significant, I might add.

And I can't forget about Toothless. Remember how adorable and badass he was in the first film? Yeah. He's still cool. He's like half puppy, half dragon. And he might just surprise you in this new film...

Go see this movie. Go watch the first one then see this one. They are both exceptional pieces of animation and deserve to be seen.

9.7

NEIGHBORS and X-MEN: DAYS OF FUTURE PAST - Double Feature Review

Neighbors

Comedy, 2014
1 hour, 36 minutes
Written by Andrew J. Cohen and Brendan O'Brien
Directed by Nicholas Stoller
Rated R for "pervasive language, strong crude and sexual content, graphic nudity, and drug use throughout"

Starring
Seth Rogen
Rose Byrne
Zac Efron
Dave Franco
Ike Barinholtz
Carla Gallo
Hannibal Buress
Lisa Kudrow
Craig Roberts

"Do NOT call your mother! Jesus! You Jews and your fucking mothers!"

Finding a good studio comedy seems to be a challenge nowadays. I'm not talking about anything produced by Adam Sandler, but comedies with relatively big names that look funny bust on impact. Neighbors could easily have been one of these films, but thankfully is saved by an excellent premise and cast.

Neighbors centers around first-time parents Mac (Seth Rogen) and Kelly (Rose Byrne). They live in a lovely suburban neighborhood when a fraternity moves into the house next door. Led by Teddy (Zac Efron), the frat is just as rowdy and obnoxious as any movie fraternity might be. Mac and Kelly are first accepted by the frat, but peacetime quickly turns into wartime once the frat gets just a little too loud. Mac and Kelly conspire together to bring the fraternity to its knees so that they can peacefully raise their child.

I'm just gonna say this outright: Rose Byrne is the hero in this movie. While many raunchy adult comedies revolve around adult men acting like immature five-year olds, Byrne's character Kelly is just as bad, if not worse, than her husband. She has no problem doing insane shit to take down the fraternity, from making out with another woman to blasting fireworks onto a crowded street. Kelly and Mac make a surprisingly convincing couple, seeing as they are more alike each other than we're used to seeing in movies.

There are a few jokes that don't quite hold up and some of the plot is a little predictable, but Neighbors is nonetheless hilarious. Definitely a must-see for those who participate in Greek life.

9/10

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X-Men: Days of Future Past

Comic Book/Action Adventure, 2014
2 hours, 21 minutes
Written by Simon Kinberg
Directed by Bryan Singer
Rated PG-13 for "sequences of intense sci-fi violence and action, some suggestive material, nudity, and language"

Starring
Hugh Jackman
James McAvoy
Michael Fassbender
Patrick Stewart
Ian McKellen
Jennifer Lawrence
Nicholas Hoult
Peter Dinklage
Ellen Page
Evan Peters

"I didn't kill the President."

I've never really understood the X-Men franchise. I don't love or hate the movies -- I just don't really give a shit. The only one I really like is First Class. I have nothing but neutral feelings about the original trilogy and I can't say much about the standalone Wolverine movies. Unlike most movies I see, I went into Days of Future Past with neutral expectations. I was hoping to enjoy it, but wouldn't be upset if I hated it. Turns out, my thoughts on the movie are neutral as well.

The film starts in a bleak future. Robotic beasts called Sentinels roam the desolate landscapes, hunting down any mutants they can find. Among these remaining mutants is the one that can walk through walls (Ellen Page). Apparently she can send people back in time. She sends Wolverine back to the 70s to stop Mystique (Jennifer Lawrence) from killing Bolivar Trask aka Tyrion Lannnister in disguise (Peter Dinklage), the scientist who created the Sentinels. Wolverine joins forces with a young Professor X (James McAvoy) and a young Magneto (Michael Fassbender) to track down and stop Mystique.

While I wasn't super crazy about the movie, I must admit that it is very well constructed. The time travel mechanic works pretty well and the visual effects are just as good as one would expect. What is most interesting is how Days of Future Past seamlessly connects First Class and the original X-Men trilogy in such an original way.

However, my biggest complaint is that it's just not that entertaining. A bunch of shit happens at the very tail-end that doesn't make a lot of sense to those not versed in X-Men lore. I just didn't care. Hell, I stopped caring once Quicksilver disappeared. Quicksilver was badass! Easily stole the entire show, but he's only there for 10 minutes tops.

I think my thoughts on Days of Future Past are so neutral that it's kind of difficult to write about. I firmly believe the most important element of a film is that it is entertaining -- especially a summer superhero blockbuster. But I was not entertained as much as I hoped I would be. I had no expectations for this movie to live up to, and that minimal expectation was not exceeded. I suppose that on the surface, Days of Future Past is actually pretty solid. The movie didn't majorly fuck up like some of the past movies apparently did, so I guess it has that going for it... I just don't care enough about the movie or the franchise to really get into the thick of it.

7/10

THE RAID 2 - Review

The Raid 2


Martial Arts Action/Crime, 2014
2 hours, 30 minutes
Written, Directed and Edited by Gareth Evans
Rated R for "sequences of strong bloody violence throughout, sexuality and language"

Starring 
Iko Uwais
Arifin Putra
Oka Antara
Tio Pakusadewo
Alex Abbad
Julie Estelle
Ryuhei Matsuda
Kenichi Endo
Kazuki Kitamura

"Bring back the ball."

There's always a demand for high-octane action movies in Hollywood, but these are usually hit-or-miss. Many of these are either remakes or sequels, and can be artistically unnecessary. The reason people keep making these? It sells. Yet audiences aren't quite as dumb as big-wig executives think. Occasionally, a foreign film will trickle into the American market, and audiences will take notice. One of these films, The Raid: Redemption, totally floored audiences and critics alike. The movie was known for its pristine fight scenes and mastery in editing and cinematography. Surprisingly, The Raid 2 surpasses the first film in every way possible. It is not only a stellar action film, but also a gripping and expansive crime story.

The Raid 2 takes place immediately following the first film. Rookie SWAT agent Rama (Iko Uwais) is debriefed by an offer named Bunawar (Cok Simbara) who asks Rama to become an undercover cop. Rama agrees, and is sent to prison to get close to Uco (Arifin Putra), the son of a powerful crime lord. After spending two years in prison together, they are released. Rama is given a job with Uco's father, Bangun (Tio Pakusadewo) as muscle while providing information to Bunawar. It isn't until Uco forms a secret alliance with rising gangster Bejo (Alex Abbad) that the crime families begin to crumble. Rama finds himself caught in the center between his boss and his friend, and must fight his way out in order to survive.

The Raid 2 is tremendously different from its predecessor. Aside from being almost an hour longer than the first film, the story is deeper and the stakes are raised. While the first film took place over the course of a few hours in a single location, the sequel takes place over several months and has a wide array of characters and plot threads. Most action sequels have to go bigger to top the predecessor, but jump that The Raid 2 makes is highly impressive. There are tons of twists, turns, and highly intense action sequences.

And holy crap, is the action awesome. The violence is spread across several set-piece battles, each covering the basics, but with a twist. The basics range from car chases, gunfights, and unbelievable fistfights. The twists, however, come from the cast of characters. In one scene, we meet Baseball Bat Man (Very Tri Yulisman), a young kid who fights using, well, a baseball bat and ball. His sister is Hammer Girl (Julie Estelle), an assassin who uses two claw hammers to dispatch opponents in a rather bloody fashion. While these might sound a little generic, there are more than enough "holy shit" moments to be found throughout their fights. Aside from just these two characters, everyone has their time to shine. The final fight in particular is easily one of the finest fight scenes in film history, which, if you ask me, is a pretty bold claim... but I stand by it.

Most action movies consist of fast-paced editing and shaky cinematography. Films like The Bourne Ultimatum suffer from this, and while that isn't the mark of a bad movie (I really fucking love the Bourne Trilogy), this can be a major drawback for some. This is what makes both Raid films so special: the film is shot and edited for the specific martial art, known as "pencak silat." Every single movement is caught on camera and is clearly visible from start to finish. Gareth Evans, who edited the film, allows every moment to last longer than we are accustomed to. In a typical action movie, a fury of punches might span several cuts, but Evans allows dozens of movements within a single uncut shot, which shows off the beautiful choreography.

It's almost impossible to count the flaws in The Raid 2. Character development might be a little thin, but that's a nitpick for a film like this. It might run a little long, but oddly enough, it never feels too long. It ends on a bit of an open note, but that just sets it up for a third film (which is currently in development). Some of the twists might be a little predictable, but the storytelling mechanics keep it shocking nonetheless. This movie is just too fucking good. It isn't just one of the best movies of the year so far, but easily one of the best sequels of all time.

Usually I write a lovely conclusion that sums up the film, but I don't think I need to. You just gotta see this movie. You just gotta see this movie. 

9.8/10

GODZILLA (2014) - Review

Godzilla (2014)

Action Adventure, 2014
2 hours, 3 minutes
Written by Max Borenstein
Directed by Gareth Edwards
Rated PG-13 for "intense sequences of destruction, mayhem and creature violence"

Starring
Aaron Taylor-Johnson
Ken Wanatabe
Elizabeth Olsen
Bryan Cranston
Sally Hawkins
David Stratharin
Juliette Binoche
Carson Bolde


"Let them fight."

Since 1954, Godzilla has been considered to be the greatest monster in all of cinema. The creature has appeared in nearly 30 films throughout the years, and he keeps growing bigger with each reappearance. Although the King of the Monsters has been on hiatus for several years, director Gareth Edwards' aptly named Godzilla breathes new fire to the franchise.

The film begins in Japan, 1999. Joe Brody (Bryan Cranston), a power plant employee, discovers strange tremor patterns in an earthquake that destroys the plant, the accident killing his wife (Juliette Binchoe). Fifteen years later, Joe's son Ford (Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Kick-Ass) is an explosives expert for the military. Joe, who still lives in Japan, is convinced that the disaster 15 years prior was a coverup for something bigger. Ford meets him in Japan to uncover the mystery. Once there, they meet Ishiro Serizawa (Ken Wanatabe), a scientist who reveals they are covering up a gigantic monster egg that feeds on radiation. The monster, dubbed the Muto, hatches and causes havoc around the world. Soon after, Godzilla, who Serizawa calls, "the Alpha Predator," appears to hunt the Muto. Soon after, a second Muto appears. The military plans to use a nuclear bomb to lure the creatures to a single point where they will duke it out.

Monster movie fanatics will definitely get their kicks here. The highlights are definitely the battles between the Mutos and Godzilla. Special effects have come a long way from a guy in a rubber costume stomping around a small model of a major metropolitan city. The monsters look gorgeous. Even the sound design was stellar and noticeably strong, a particular note I find to be uncommon when discussing films. The visual and sound teams on this movie have really outdone themselves. The cinematography is is standard fare, but it somehow ramps up in the final battle of the film. From the moment the paratroopers make that jump (as shown in the trailer and some posters), the visuals take it all the way to 11, with brilliant shot composition and lighting effects. It's a very memorable experience. 

It should also be noted that the monsters are huge. Like, HUGE. No, huge is too generic of a word. Let's try GARGANTUAN or COLOSSAL or MOUNTAINOUS. One of the first shots of Godzilla is actually just a shot of his spiky back. In this scene, a few soldiers are standing on top of a hotel in Hawaii. The Muto creature has already arrived. The soldiers fire red flares into the air. We watch them float through the air and over Godzilla's immense, spiky back. It's just his back. And that's the first glimpse you get of the big guy. It's an impressive shot that showcases just how fucking big he is. 

But the movie isn't just about monsters, it's about the people. Although there has been some debate about this, I found the family dynamic to be compelling. Sure, Ford and his wife, Elle (Elizabeth Olsen) have a very basic relationship as far as films go, I bought it. They don't share a lot of screen time, but I felt deeply sympathetic for both her and Ford as they desperately worked to reunite with their son. It's not anything to cry over and it certainly didn't redefine anything, but it's believable. And in the end, isn't that what's important?

Godzilla might be fucking awesome, but it definitely isn't perfect. The film has a tendency to lag a bit. The first monster doesn't show up until maybe 40 minutes in and Godzilla himself doesn't show up until maybe just after the one hour mark. In addition, Bryan Cranston, who steals the show early on, is only in the first half of the film. Cranston builds a compelling character and boasts a great performance, but he doesn't have as much screen time as he should. 

Overall, Godzilla is a solid monster movie with a compelling, if not original, human element. The visuals are strong all throughout the film and there are a few strong twists along the way. It's a fantastic way to kick off the summer blockbuster season. 

9/10

I'M BACK! - A brief update on my hiatus

HELLOOOOOO!!!

Long time no see! I think that this is the longest hiatus I've taken from posting. It's been TWO FREAKIN MONTHS since I've written here, so give me a chance to explain. It's for a good reason, I swear. 

About six weeks ago, I got a text from a good friend informing about an opening for a job at Columbia College Chicago's newspaper, The Columbia Chronicle. The Chronicle is America's #1 non-daily college newspaper. It's true because it says so on their business cards. Plus, they have a TON of award plaques hanging in the waiting room. That shit straight up lines the walls.

The open position in question was for a new FILM CRITIC so I threw my hat in the ring with this blog LITERALLY being my only qualification. Within 24 hours after getting the text from my friend, I had sent an email to the associate editor, booked an interview, and was commissioned to write a review of Captain America: The Winter Soldier for the following week's paper. 

I felt like Jeremy Lin - from D-League to hitting jump-shots over Kobe Bryant in no time at all. It was unreal.

Although my articles in the Chronicle don't read quite like they do here, they are professionally written and published, which is far more impressive than this blog. That being said, editing at the Chronicle is far more intense (and surprisingly fun) than editing here... which is practically nonexistent. They're just two totally different beasts. 

It was a phenomenal five weeks of writing and hopefully I'll be back to it again in the fall, but now that it's summer... BACK TO THE BLOG!

So yeah, the reason I haven't written here in two months is because I've been writing for the newspaper, which takes a huge chunk of my time. Now that it's summer, I'm back to my mostly usual shenanigans here at Weitzel Talks About Movies, which is going to get a makeover when I have some free time. 

Once school ends in the next few days, I'll be doing regular postings when I see movies. Because this blog is kind of getting a reboot, I'll be changing up my signature "no-bullshit" writing style to a hybrid of my Chronicle writings to my blog writings. 

We'll see how it works... and that's the end of the update. 

I can't wait to get back to writing my usual reviews. It's been great working at the Chronicle and I hope to work for them in the fall, but for now, let's have some good 'ol fashioned Weitzel-style fun. 

See you guys at the movies, 

- Josh R. Weitzel

THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL - Review

The Grand Budapest Hotel

Dramatic Comedy, 2014
1 hour, 39 minutes
Written and Directed by Wes Anderson
Rated R for "language, some sexual content and violence"

Starring
Tony Revolori
Ralph Finnes
F. Murray Abraham
Willem Dafoe
Adrien Brody
Saoirse Ronan
Jeff Goldblum
Mathieu Amalric
Jude Law
Harvey Keitel
Edward Norton
Tilda Swinton
Bill Murray
Jason Schwartzman

"I don't know what sort of cream they've put on you down at the morgue, but I want some."

Everybody loves Wes Anderson. I don't think I've met a single person who has told me otherwise. He's a prolific and intelligent auteur and he's got the power to do anything he wants. Thankfully, The Grand Budapest Hotel almost delivers on everything it promised.

The film takes place primarily in flashback told by an elder version of the main character, Zero Moustafa (the elder Zero played by F. Murray Abraham). Zero (the younger played by Tony Revolor) was once a lobby-boy in training at the beautiful Grand Budapest hotel when it was in his prime. He works hard under the tutelage of M. Gustave H (Ralph Fiennes) and learns the ways of being a lobby-boy. When Gustave receives word that a close and wealthy companion, Madame D. (Tilda Swinton) has died, he travels with Zero to pay his respects. Soon after, he inherits a priceless painting called "Boy With Apple." However, Gustave is framed for the murder of the Madame, and Zero is sent on a wild adventure to prove Gustave's innocence.

The Grand Budapest Hotel is rather ambitious for Wes Anderson. While most of his films are based around relationships, Hotel is a witty and delightful crime-caper. Despite being somewhat convoluted in execution, plot threads are tied up nicely, like any Wes Anderson picture. In addition, it's basically what you would expect from Anderson's films. His very distinct visual style is very, well, distinct. Two-dimensional cinematography (shot mostly in a 1.33 aspect ratio) and muted colors bring wonderful life to the gorgeous set pieces. The pacing is rather quick, but is only strengthened by the use of sharp dialogue. The film is also rather funny, even if it does take a few unexpected turns. There are actually a few moments that are rather shocking, and yet, these moments might just leave you in stitches.

There are very few issues with the film. I was mostly unsatisfied with how the film plays with aspect ratios, seeing as the 1.85 is only used briefly at the opening and finale, and the 2.35 is hardly used for scope. That being said, the use of 1.33 for the majority of the film actually works quite well. It becomes unnoticeable since it hardly stops Anderson's style from shining through.

As for the actual plot, there were a couple of threads that I would have liked to see through to the end. A few emotional beats, while touching and thoughtful, just didn't get a proper conclusion. And, probably my biggest complaint, is that the stellar cast is hardly used. On paper, this is one of the finest casts assembled in recent memory. And yet, so few of these characters are used to their fullest extent. Bill Murray has maybe two minutes of screen time, but he boats the most impressive mustache in the entire movie. And there are many impressive mustaches in this one.

I personally felt as though the film could have done more. While I absolutely loved the main story arc and the writing and the visuals and the characters, I felt that perhaps I set my expectations too high. I went in expecting a huge ensemble piece, but I walked away with a simple yet well executed caper. I don't think that the film quite exceeded my expectations. They merely met them at a slightly different junction. And that's okay!

The Grand Budapest Hotel is exactly what you should look for in a Wes Anderson movie. There really isn't much else to say about it. If you like his movies, then there's no reason not to love his latest outing.

9.1/10

ACADEMY AWARDS - 2014 EDITION

Salutations, fellow readers! I apologize for not having written many reviews lately. It's that time of year in which nothing is really coming out because the good stuff is being saved for the fall. So, yeah. Not much to write about now. But that doesn't mean I've forgotten about you.

So, without further ado, here are my Oscar predictions for this year's awards. I won't be listing the entire list of nominees because of how time consuming it is, but you can find such a list right here. I'm not going to bother writing description for everything. 

BEST PICTURE 

Who Will Win - 12 Years a Slave

Let's be real, everyone knows this is happening. This movie was made for the Oscars, and there's very little doubt with anyone that it'll win. While the other nominees are actually pretty great, but 12 Years stands out above the rest. 

Wh Should Win - 12 Years a Slave

It really does deserve it. I've talked about how much I loved this film for a damn good reason, and I'll honestly be shocked if it doesn't win. 

The Dark Horse - Gravity or American Hustle 

If not 12 Years, it'll be one of these two. While I think it's more likely to go to Gravity, American Hustle has a decent shot, even if it doesn't deserve it. 

ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE

Who Will Win - Matthew McConaughey - Dallas Buyers Club

Who Should Win - Chiwetel Ejiofor - 12 Years a Slave

The Dark Horse - Bruce Dern - Nebraska

ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE

Who Will Win - Cate Blanchett - Blue Jasmine

Who Should Win - Cate Blanchett - Blue Jasmine

The Dark Horse - Sandra Bullock - Gravity

ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE 

Who Will Win - Jared Leto - Dallas Buyers Club 

Who Should Win - Pretty Much Anyone Except for Bradley Cooper

I'm very indifferent as to who wins this award... unless it's Bradley Cooper. How crazy would it be if Jonah Hill becomes an Oscar winner?

The Dark Horse - Bradley Cooper - American Hustle

ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE

Who Will Win - Lupita Nyong'o - 12 Years a Slave

Who Should Win - Lupita Nyong'o - 12 Years a Slave

The Dark Horse - June Squibb - Nebraska

Not gonna lie, I kind of want her to win. She was fucking hysterical. 

DIRECTING

Who Will Win - Alfonso Caurón - Gravity

Who Should Win - Alfonso Caurón - Gravity

The Dark Horse - Steve McQueen - 12 Years a Slave

ADAPTED SCREENPLAY

Who Will Win - 12 Years a Slave

Who Should Win - Before Midnight

The Dark Horse - Any one of these nominations


ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY

Who Will Win - Her

Who Should Win - Her

The Dark Horse - Well... pretty much any one of these noms. 


VISUAL EFFECTS

Gravity is literally going to win every single technical award it has been nominated for. 


That's probably everything worth talking about. Let's be real, we all know that Gravity is going to win every technical award and maybe nothing else. It totally deserves it. 

THE LEGO MOVIE - Review

Hello readers! Sorry I haven't been around since mid-January, but I've been busy doing all sorts of nothing. I mean, school's back up again, so there's that... I've seen a few movies since, but nothing that I've felt the urge to write about. But I'm trying to get back in the swing of things, so here's the first movie review of 2014. Hope you enjoy.

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The Lego Movie

Animated Action-Adventure, 2014
1 hour, 40 minutes
Written and Directed by Phil Lord and Chris Miller
Rated PG for "mild action and rude humor"

Starring
Chris Pratt
Will Farrell
Elizabeth Banks
Morgan Freeman
Will Arnett
Liam Neeson
Nick Offerman
Charlie Day
Alison Brie

"I don't think he's ever had an original thought."

I never thought that I would actually enjoy a 100 minute commercial for a kids toy. Because lets face it, even if you think it's the best movie ever made, it's still a commercial. That's what the GI Joe movies are and that's what the Transformers movies are. It's based on a popular toy. But what makes The Lego Movie so special is that it's a really really good.

The Lego Movie is about a Lego piece named Emmet. Emmet is an ordinary Lego piece, think the default dot-eyes and default hair piece. Nothing special about him. One day, Emmet discovers something called "The Piece of Resistance," which according to an ancient prophecy, will stop the oncoming destruction of the world at the hands of Lord Business who plans on gluing the world together. Emmet is dubbed "The Special," (basically The Chosen One) and must learn to become a "Master Builder." So he teams up with a girl named Wyldstyle, an old wizard named Vitruvius, and some guy named Batman in order to save the world.

Okay... okay... this sounds kind of weird, right? It sounds like a cruddy direct-to-DVD kids movie. Surprisingly, it's not. It's funny. Very funny. There aren't any cleverly hidden adult jokes like in Pixar movies, but there's lots of good bits. The voice acting is fantastic with A-list stars making up pretty much the whole cast. Will Arnett is actually great as Batman, and Chris Pratt pretty much plays his character from Parks and Recreation, so you know he just nails it. There's also an absurd amount of cameos. Not just the voice actors, but the sheer number of Lego characters in the film is astounding.

My favorite thing about the movie was the animation itself. Combining stop-motion and CGI, the world of Lego is shockingly detailed, oftentimes looking as though it was made in someone's basement. Even explosions are made entirely of Lego bricks. Aside from the level of detail, every world is colorful and cleverly crafted. Action sequences are fast paced and always clever, but thankfully it's never disjointed or bogged down by shaky-cam.

But the MOST impressive thing about The Lego Movie is it's inspiring message. It wouldn't be fair to give anything away because it's just so well implemented. It's a kids movie, so expect it to be a tad cheesy, but there's nothing wrong with that. One thing is for sure, however: you WILL be surprised at where it takes you.

Overall, The Lego Movie is the last movie I would have expected to be good. It's well animated, voice acted, and has an inspiring message. Despite the fact that it's basically a commercial and that it sells itself, it never feels like one. On top of being a well made movie, it also serves the fundamental purpose of movies: pure entertainment.

9.5 / 10

Top 20 Movies of 2013

There isn't a lot to be said about movies from 2013. I mean, you could say basically the same thing every year. There are good movies, bad movies, movies that were almost good, movies that looked good, movies that you didn't expect to be good... it's a whole song and dance.

2013 brought the return of Spike Jonze, the Cohen Brothers, Martin Scorsese, and Alfonso Cauron. Not to say that they've been gone (except for maybe Jonze, who hasn't made a feature since 2009) but it's nice to have a great variation of writers and directors back and doing something interesting. While Gravity is the only film that really did something incredible from a technological standpoint, we got a slew of great character dramas. There were some sequels that were pretty good like Star Trek Into Darkness and some movies that didn't quite pan out,*cough cough Man of Steel cough cough*

I'll admit that my list might look generic to other list, but there's a good reason for that: these movies are fucking awesome.

Admittedly there are a few movies that I missed this past year, but I think I'm set unless something else comes to my attention. But for now, this list is how it stands, and the top 10 come with my highest recommendation... although I ask that you pay close attention to #1. It was NOT EASY to pick my #1 because it was almost a split vote between that and my #2. It was tough, but I think I made a good choice.

The links for the top 5 are trailers. 

20. The Place Beyond the Pines

19. Prisoners
18. American Hustle
17. Blue is the Warmest Color
16. Star Trek Into Darkness
15. The Spectacular Now
14. The Wolf of Wall Street
13. Captain Phillips
12. Blue Jasmine
11. This is the End
10. Gravity
9. Before Midnight
8. Mud
7. Nebraska
6. Frances Ha

5. Fruitvale Station
I didn't get a chance to review this movie. It would definitely have gotten a perfect 10, no question. The film starts out with real video footage of Oscar Grant being shot (the film is based on a true story). The film ends with Oscar being shot. No surprise there. But what is surprising is Oscar's seemingly ordinary journey to get to that point. We are able to sympathize with Oscar so easily, but once we see him get shot... It's incredibly powerful.

4. Inside Llewyn Davis
This is arguably the Coen Brothers finest work. A beautiful character piece with a wonderful soundtrack and fine performances. Llewyn Davis himself is probably one of my favorite Coen characters. He might be an asshole, but he's just so damn human that you just can't help but be impressed with the Coen's writing. You'd think they'd make him some wild or unusual guy, but nope. He's just perfectly ordinary. That's a rare thing for a character piece nowadays. And that's what makes this movie so damn good.

3. Her
Her is an exaggerated look at modern relationships. It's all about technology nowadays. Writer/director Spike Jonze takes a bold risk by making a movie about a guy who falls in love with his operating system. Much like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, the film uses the wonderful world of low-key science fiction to tell a beautiful and unconventional love story. And Hollywood is too full of love stories. We just need ones that are different. And unbelievably beautiful.

2. 12 Years a Slave
Writer/director Steve McQueen is gonna go down in history. His third feature following two art-house films, 12 Years a Slave is basically "the Schindler's List of slavery films." And it really is. It's unbelievably powerful and painful to watch at times. It's unflinching. It doesn't stop until the credits roll., and by that time you're in fucking tears. Like weeping tears. Many movies met my expectations this year. 12 Years a Slave exceeded them to an unprecedented level.

1. Short Term 12
Nobody saw this fucking movie. Nobody. Made on a budget of under a million and released in a handful of screens, Short Term 12 is the story of a young woman in her 20s named Grace working at a foster-care facility. Throughout the film, we meet and learn about some of the kids in the facility, as well as Grace's haunting past. The movie will make you cry one minute, the next, you'll be laughing. The performances are effortless from the entire cast, particularly from Brie Larson of 21 Jump Street fame. There are no major names here. It's not trying to win tons of awards, but I'll be damned if this movie doesn't get any recognition other than amazing reviews, because right now, it's not. And that's a damn shame. These are the kind of movies that I want to make. It's movies like Short Term 12 that make movies worth watching.