Oscars 2013 Recap

"Argo tells the previously classified story about an American hostage rescue in post-revolutionary Iran. The story was so top secret that the film's director is unknown to the Academy." - Seth MacFarlane

Oscars were pretty good, right?
Seth MacFarlane was a fantastic host. He sang a song about boobs, gave Meryl Streep an introduction that will never be forgotten, and cracked a joke about Chris Brown and Rihanna that I laughed way too hard at.
He basically did stand-up all night, but it was totally fantastic. I definitely want to see him take the stage again.

As for the awards, I didn't do so well... I think I did OK where it counts. I really did expect Tommy Lee Jones to win, but I'm happy that Waltz won. The man deserves it.
As far as speeches go, I loved what Ben Affleck said. He was very passionate and basically gave his speech for Best Director, which he CLEARLY should have won... the Academy really fucked up on that. Tarantino had a great speech, the man really deserves it. Anne Hathaway and Jennifer Lawrence also had great speeches, as well as Adele who choked up quite a bit, then again, she fucking deserved it. Daniel Day-Lewis had a surprisingly hilarious acceptance speech.

People got played off by the Jaws theme, which was hilarious. Life of Pi won some technical awards, which it definitely deserved, but I'm still bummed that Roger Deakins lost for Skyfall's cinematography, but Life of Pi is still a beautiful movie.

Brave won Best Animated Feature, which is stupid as fuck because the Academy are a bunch of pussies because Wreck-It Ralph or ParaNorman didn't win. Pixar just needs to stop their pussyfooting and start making more awesome movies.

I expected the Bond tribute to be a bit more... not sucky. They played a montage and Adele sang and SHIRLEY BASSEY SANG MOTHERFUCKING GOLDFINGER but otherwise it should have been a lot more awesome, like, I don't know, at least the Bond's who wanted to show up should've shown up. So what if Connery didn't want to do it because he's old and retired or whatever, and yeah it wouldn't be the same without him but they should've done something more.


Highlights:

• Ben Affleck's speech. Ben, you were the best director of 2012. 
• Quentin Tarantino ends his speech with "Peace out!"
• "I would argue though, the actor who really got inside Lincoln's head was John Wilkes Booth... Really, 150 years and it's still too soon? I've got some Napoleon jokes coming up, you guys are going to be so mad."
• SHIRLEY FUCKING BASSEY
• The cast of Les Mis singing some of Les Mis. 
• Jennifer Lawrence winning. 
• We Saw Your Boobs. Can I get this on iTunes?
• [Introducing Meryl Streep] "Our next presenter needs no introduction." [Walks offstage]

Overall good show. This really was a fantastic year for movies, and I'm not just saying that. Tons of fantastic movies, and I can't wait to see what kind of good stuff comes out later this year.
For the full list of winners and nominees, click here.

Hope you all had a good Oscar experience!

-Weitzel

Pre-Oscars Report + Some Other Stuff

Get this:
Robert DeNiro and Sylvester Stallone are making a movie together called Grudge Match. You're probably asking what could this movie be about, with such a strange pairing... well, it's about a couple of old rival boxers who want to come out of retirement for one final fight.
The Raging Bull VS The Italian Stallion.

HOW FUCKING AWESOME IS THIS GOING TO BE?!?!
And I'd like to say that for the record, Raging Bull is far better than Rocky. I love Rocky, but Robert DeNiro's performance as Jake LaMotta is one of the best performances in movie history.

One more thing: Watch this trailer for a new documentary about Batman, but it isn't quite what you'd expect it to be. This is why Batman is the greatest comic book hero of all time.

Okay, moving on.
Oscars are later today.
Cool.

So all sorts of awards have been given to various peoples for their various movies and shit, so I'm gonna quickly go through a revised predictions list, which is basically my ballot.

BEST PICTURE - Argo. At this point, it seems like a bit of a lock. It's won all of the awards that usually predict this category. Also it kind of deserves to win.

BEST DIRECTOR - Steven Spielberg for Lincoln, because it's Steven fucking Spielberg. If he doesn't win, then it'll be Ang Lee for Life of Pi, and I'm okay with that.

BEST ACTOR - Daniel Day-Lewis for Lincoln. It was a lock once he signed on the dotted line.

BEST ACTRESS - Jennifer Lawrence for Silver Linings Playbook. I'm going to make a bold prediction here and say that Lawrence could be the next Meryl Streep. So much depth to all of her performances, she's attractive, and everyone likes her. Who knows? Only time will tell.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR - Tommy Lee Jones for Lincoln. I'd like Christoph Waltz to win, but I just have a feeling its going to go to Jones. I've heard from big name predictions that Robert DeNiro could win as well. If that happened I wouldn't be too bummed.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS - Anne Hathaway for Les Miserables. She dreamed the shit out of that dream.

ADAPTED SCREENPLAY - I honestly think it could go to anyone with the exception of Beasts of the Southern Wild, but I'm putting Silver Linings Playbook on my ballot not really because I think it will win, but because I want it to. But yeah, realistically it could go to anyone.

ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY - Django Unchained. Yes, I'm taking a big gamble with this one. I think Tarantino could really win this year. He should've won with Inglourious Basterds, but I think he can maybe pull off a miracle win. He hasn't won since Pulp Fiction, back in the 90s.

ANIMATED FEATURE FILM - Brave... ugh, I HATE to admit it, but I just have a feeling that it's going to take away the award on this one as much as I dislike it. I doubt the Academy knows anything about video games, because it should go to Wreck-It Ralph. Too bad they like to play it safe.

CINEMATOGRAPHY - Skyfall, because it isn't just a good movie but its fucking beautiful. Roger Deakins makes brilliant and beautiful use of color and framing in every shot. It's just a fucking beautiful movie. If not Skyfall, then Life of Pi. 

ORIGINAL SCORE - Skyfall, but it could easily go to John Williams for Lincoln.

ORIGINAL SONG - Skyfall. Come on, it's the best theme in YEARS, right up there with Shirley Bassey's Goldfinger.

ANIMATED SHORT FILM - Paperman... have you seen it? Come on.

VISUAL EFFECTS - The Avengers, because this. But Life of Pi could easily win as well. Beautifully animated animals and gorgeous backdrops make Life of Pi a second close.

PRODUCTION DESIGN - Les Misérables. Beautiful design, Lincoln could beat it though.

As for the other stuff, I don't really have much say in it or care to say much about it. I'll post my thoughts on the show later tonight.

The Oscars are on ABC at 7:30pm Central time.

END OF WATCH - Review

I DON'T DO THIS VERY OFTEN BUT THERE ARE SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW SO IF YOU'RE INTERESTED IN KNOWING WHAT I GAVE THIS MOVIE I GAVE IT AN 8/10 KEEP READING IF YOU WANT BUT YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. 

End of Watch

1 hour 50 minutes
Drama, 2012
Written/Directed by David Ayer

Starring
Jake Gyllenhaal
Michael Peña
Anna Kendrick
Natalie Martinez

"We're cops, everybody wants to kill us."

Among all of the found footage movies, I think that End of Watch really stands out. Taking place over the course of several months, the film follows a bald Jake Gyllenhaal and Michael Peña as two LAPD officers who find themselves in trouble when they fuck with some cartel members.
The film's strongest suit is easily the performances of Gyllenhaal and Peña. These guys are completely believable not only as cops, but as brothers. The two have perfect chemistry with each other, which really helps the somewhat flimsy plot.
As much as I enjoy End of Watch's story, I have to bring up the whole trope of "wrong place, wrong time." On a couple of occasions, these guys just happen to find cartel stuff. Happen to find cartel stuff. Okay, at one point, they do some detective work and go looking for it, but that aside a couple of really huge reveals come off of these occasions. And the movie does these reveals very well. There are only a couple, but they're completely unexpected and work very well to the film's advantage.
But the thing that bothered me the most was the language of the cartel members. They're all Hispanic and do that thing where they speak english but throw in random Spanish here and there, but only like one word in a sea of English. It just comes off as a little annoying. If they're all Hispanic, why not just pick one language? They also spend the whole time yelling at each other and swearing constantly to the point where it's extremely annoying. In fact, even the police officers do that too. Don't get me wrong, I love dropping "fuck," as well as variations of "fuck" but this movie just abuses it. Fuck is a graceful and beautiful word, but when you drop it so harshly at an insanely constant rate, it becomes weak. The cartel members just come off as being very generic, cookie-cutter hispanic gangster villains that we've seen in every Robert Rodriguez movie ever. These baddies just have no heart to them. They get angry and yell a lot and that's about it.
I really don't mean to come off as being racist, I'm just saying what I think in what is probably not a very graceful way.
Another thing: why are we able to see the cartel members? Every time we get a glimpse of someone other than these cops we see someone filming the action because it's so convenient that people have video cameras and like to record gangsters doing gangster things... because that's really intelligent... while cinematically and for story purposes it makes perfect sense, it takes away from what is established early on in the film: Gyllenhaal's reason for filming is because he's taking a filmmaking class. So where the fuck did this other footage come from? Just something small that bugged me.

I know I spend a lot of time complaining about what is wrong with the movie, but I really did enjoy it. Aside from a few illogical things, the performances and dialogue keep the film afloat. It's got some great twists here and there and all grips aside it's a good movie.

8/10

A GOOD DAY TO DIE HARD - Review

A Good Day to Die Hard

Action, 2013
1 hour 40 minutes
Written by Skip Woods
Directed by John Moore

Starring
Bruce Willis
Jai Courtney
Sebastian Koch
Yuliya Snigir

"I kinda thought we would just wing it. You know, running in, guns blazing. Make it up as we go."

One thing that's so fantastic about the original Die Hard is how an ordinary NY cop takes on a bunch of terrorists and wins. With NO SHOES. That was back in '88. It's 2013. We're in that phase where Hollywood wants to make remakes, sequels, and turn old heroes into, well, old heroes.
A Good Day to Die Hard, the latest in the franchise, is, frankly, the worst day to die hard. It isn't necessarily a bad movie, but the writing isn't very strong, some of the dialogue is a little cliche, and hell, it just feels like a rehashed Hollywood action flick sequel. It doesn't really feel like there's anything at stake until the 3rd act of the film. Aside from Bruce Willis and "yippie kay-yay," it just feels pretty standard.
The action itself is very rocky. There are a few cool moments, a few absurd moments, and one of the worst car chase scenes you'll ever see. It happens a few minutes into the movie, but it suffers from shaky camera syndrome and just looks so badly edited that you can hardly tell what the fuck is going on. There are plenty of gunfights to be had, although there's only one that really stands out as being totally awesome. And for some reason a bunch of helicopters blow up. Seriously, there are like maybe two helicopters that belong to the two big set-piece battles.
That being said, Bruce Willis is still the good ol wise cracking John McClaine that we know and love. It isn't his finest performance as McClaine, but at least it's strong. New to the fray is McClaine's son, Jack, who turns out to be a bit more like his old man than you'd expect. The two have a strained relationship, but it feels a bit forced since we've never really seen his son that much in any of the other films. At least the actors have decent chemistry. Other characters, mainly the villains, just seem useless other than to accelerate the plot, coming across as being quirky but then just don't do anything beyond that. Plot points feel pushed a bit thin, sometimes to the point of stupidity. At least there are a couple of decent twists.
All in all, it's another bad day for John McClaine, even if it isn't the most entertaining of the bunch. It feels very much like a typical Hollywood action flick, which sucks, because at least the original trilogy had a lot more heart than this. But if you're a Die Hard fan, then it's probably worth seeing at least once. If you're not a Die Hard fan, save your money.

5/10

Oscar Update - Feb 11

It's been a little while since the Oscar nominations came out, so everyone's trying to predict who's gonna win and stuff. People don't realize that other awards can influence the Oscar winners. Like if someone wins a Screen Actors Guild award then they have a better chance of winning than someone who didn't win.
So who's gonna take the cake? If you ask me, Argo is going to win Best Picture. So far, it's won the SAG for Outstanding Performance by a Cast in a Motion Picture (basically the SAG's version of Best Picture), the Golden Globe for Best Drama, Critics Choice Award for Best Picture, and a bunch of other stuff.
But the craziest thing isn't the movie itself; it's Ben Affleck who's getting most of the credit. So far he's won TONS of awards for Best Director, he's on an insane hot streak... so why isn't he nominated at the Oscars for Best Director? Who the fuck knows. If you ask me it's an even bigger snub than Leonardo DiCaprio, because Affleck honestly deserves to win. I said Lincoln was going to win, but I think its gonna be Argo this year.
As for the other awards, Jennifer Lawrence has a pretty good shot since winning the SAG for Best Actress. She really deserves it.
As for everyone else, I don't know. I think it would be cool for Tarantino to win for Original Screenplay, but its a longshot made slightly shorter by his recent BAFTA win.

Whatever. Hopefully things won't suck this year.

Also I know this is random, but I'm sitting here watching TV and a trailer for the upcoming Dark Skies is on. It honestly looks terrible. Like, really really awful. Like when the dad is standing outside randomly at night and his mouth is just open? What the fuck is that? I don't know too much about horror movies, but when Keri Russel slams her head into the window I couldn't stop laughing, and neither could the rest of the theater. The trailer/wikipedia page tells you that it's aliens, so what's to be scared about? Come on.

On another note, I updated my Top 15 of 2012. Silver Linings Playbook is now at #7 from being at #14 or something... hell, it's probably #5 but I don't feel like changing it. Too much work.

A Good Day to Die Hard comes out later this week, so stick around for the "007 of Plainfield New Jersey." And don't listen to the naysayers. Die Hard 4 was awesome. Not as good as Die Hard 1, but that's to be expected. Nothing is better than Die Hard 1.

Peace in the middle yeast,
-Weitzel

SEVEN PSYCHOPATHS - Review

Seven Psychopaths

Dark Comedy, 2012

1 hour, 40 minutes

Written and Directed by Martin McDonagh

Starring
Colin Farrell
Sam Rockwell
Christopher Walken
Woody Harrelson
Tom Waits
Abbie Cornish
Olga Kurylenko
Linda Bright Clay
Želijko Ivanek
Long Nguyen

"What, are we making French movies now? That sounds like the stupidest ending. No shoot-outs? That sounds like the stupidest ending I've ever fucking... NO SHOOT-OUTS?!"

Seven Psychopaths makes me sad. Way back in the fall, there was a pretty sizable advertisement campaign for this thing. Bus stops and posters were all over the city... at least, where I was walking there was. So why am I so sad?
Because Seven Psychopaths is the kind of movie that gets fairly good hype but nobody goes to see it, and then everybody regrets it.
And they should, because Seven Psychopaths is one damn good movie.
If you like movies where they say the title of the movie all the time, then you'll probably love this movie. Hollywood screenwriter Marty (Colin Farrell) struggles to write his next big movie, except he's got the title down... wanna guess what it is?
Yep. He's writing Seven Psychopaths. And in his quest to come up with all seven of his psychopaths, he gets into quite a bit of trouble when his dog-kidnapping friend Billy (Sam Rockwell) steals the shih tzu of a powerful mafia leader (Woody Harrelson) and, needless to say, Marty finds his psychopaths.
It sounds a little absurd, but that's what makes this film so spectacular. It's just so fucking absurd. Then again, that's what writer/director Martin McDonagh specializes in. The writing is incredibly sharp and darkly hilarious. The screenplay is only made better by way of brilliant performances by the cast, in particular Sam Rockwell, who is absolutely astounding as the most psychotic psychopath of the bunch.
As I said before, this movie is absolutely absurd. The absurdity moves from the subtly of Marty trying to find his seven psychopaths for his movie (creating a Buddhist psychopaths, who becomes an Amish psychopath, then becomes a Quaker psychopath) to Woody Harrelson's obsession to find his beloved pooch.
But the real highlight of the movie comes from Sam Rockwell's astounding monologue, which, in my opinion, is the FUNNIEST MOVIE MOMENT OF 2012. Yes, this one scene alone is probably funnier than anything in 21 Jump Street.
What else is there to say? Christopher Walken is hilarious. It isn't quite as good as In Bruges, but this movie definitely leaves me wanting more from Martin McDonagh.
And if you ask me, Sam Rockwell deserves a fucking Oscar nomination. Honestly. I can't be the only person who believes that. What an underrated actor, seriously.

9.5/10

PS - I wrote this fucker at 3am and I didn't proofread, so apologies for anything if I fucked up with spelling or whatever. Lemme know and I'll edit it.