I'm Jewish so it seems weird that I would make a post about Christmas movies but the fact of the matter is that Christmas movies have their own fucking genre so I'm going to go ahead and rank the top 5 Christmas movies because honestly I haven't seen every Christmas movie so here we go. And I'm going to keep the descriptions short and sweet because I don't have time to do a lengthy description of each one.
And I know haters gonna hate because they won't find their favorite movie on here, but fuck you I don't spend the holiday season watching Christmas movies I watch whatever I want.
5) Home Alone
It's a funny and kind of sweet movie, but Kevin's parents are the absolute worst people on the face of the earth. How the fuck do you forget a kid? At least it makes for good comedy.
4) It's a Wonderful Life
Definitely one of the best Christmas movies ever made. Fun fact: nobody gave a shit about the movie for the longest time, and eventually people started to put it on TV because of cheap syndication rights, and everybody thought it was a classic because it was on all the time and now everybody loves it. I guess everyone forgot that it was nominated for Best Picture when first released. Bizarre story, but it's still a great movie.
3) The Nightmare Before Christmas
A great musical with one of the best soundtracks around. Great visuals and good storytelling make Nightmare not only one of the best Christmas movies around, but also one of the best Halloween movies.
2) A Christmas Story
Easily one of the most quotable movies of all time. I was going to put a bunch of quotes instead of a description for this one, but I ended up with like 20 quotes. Absolutely hilarious. I try to watch it at least once every year on TBS.
1) Die Hard
What else do I need to say? Die Hard has and will always be one of the most quintessential action movies of all time. It also takes place during Christmas. People say "bullshit, it just takes place during Christmas!" For some that may count it out of the race, but don't forget that the entire movie wouldn't be the same without "Now I have a machine gun. Ho ho ho."
Haters gonna hate, but Die Hard is the best Christmas movie of all time.
Honorable Mentions
Elf
Brazil
Love Actually
Batman Returns
So to all of my goyim friends, have a Merry Crampas and a yippie kay-yay motherfucking new year.
More reviews to come in the next couple of days: Les Mis and Django Unchained.
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