STAR WARS EPISODE VII - THE RETURN OF DARTH VADER?
First and formost, rumors are circulating that Darth Vader is set to make a return in the new Star Wars film. While I'm actually excited for the new film, my main concern is that Vader kind of has a severe case of being dead. Not only did he just die, but his body was burned and he became one with the Force.
If that isn't as dead as you can get, then I have an awesome beard... which I don't... fuck you, it'll get there...
Point is, resurrecting Vader is the stupidest thing imaginable. However, if you want to bring back Force Anakin, I'm cool with that. It actually makes sense, given that the original Han, Luke, and Leia are at least up for an appearance.
Michael Arndt, Oscar winning screenwriter (Little Miss Sunshine) who also wrote Toy Story 3 has already been hired to write the film. However, high profile directors such as Steven Spielberg, Quentin Tarantino (could you imagine him doing Star Wars?), Zack Snyder, and unfortunately JJ Abrams have all said "no" to the project. Personally, I would have picked JJ Abrams, seeing the amazing job he did with Star Trek. At least they have similarly good intentioned reasons: because of the impact that Star Wars had on them, they're afraid that they'll fail. Which is actually a very legitimate reason.
ANCHORMAN 2 IS REPORTED TO FEATURE A MUSICAL NUMBER
Anchorman 2 is reported to feature a musical number... title already said that. Sounds pretty great.
TRANSFORMERS 4 WILL MOST LIKELY HAVE AT LEAST A COUPLE OF EXPLOSIONS
Transformers 4 will be directed by Michael Bay. It will star Mark Whalberg and will take place 4 years after Dark of the Moon.
THE HOBBIT SOUNDTRACK STREAMING FOR FREE
Second up, The Hobbit soundtrack is streaming from a little app embedded on several websites. You can't skip through songs, so you have to listen to the whole thing at one time, and you can't download it either. It's completely worth listening to it all, the score is incredible. And if you have no intention of listening to the entire 1 hour and 45 minutes, you ought to at least listen up to the 22 minute mark, in which the Dwarves sing the Misty Mountains song from the trailer... gave me chills.
TOM CRUISE IS REALLY SHORT
In other news, see the trailers for Jack Reacher? Here's a fun fact: according to a reliable source (Papa Weitzel aka my dad) the character Jack Reacher is supposed to be over six feet tall, according to the books. Tom Cruise is only 5' 7". But Cruise is an alright action hero, so we'll see how this pans out.
Okay, so that's all I have for now. So enjoy this little funny faux article and I'll be back soon with more reviews!
-Weitzel
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